Earlier in 2016 I had taken an amazing program called the 60 Journey to Self Challenge that is offered through one of my inspirations and teachers Carmel Joy Baird. In the program she asked this very simple question. "what are you pretending not to know?"... Such a simple sentence sure fired up a whole lot of defensive emotions in me. Then I had to ask myself why I would respond in that way. The truth I discovered is that this is just what we do when we don't want to change something, or address an issue, or find a solution to the problem. We create a reaction or an excuse to close down our awareness to what is unknown. Often the unknown causes fear in us, which triggers an ego response, which triggers a chemical response in our body which then may create anxiety or other discomforts which to further activate our ego response, we blame someone else or a situation for that discomfort. Until that pivotal moment of awareness of the depths of that simple question I wondered around pretending not to know what I didn't understand like it was non-existent.
First on the block of the "pretending not to know" self awareness was the issues I had being a step parent. You see I am a part time parent of an equal weekly schedule of one week on - one week off between houses. I do not have my own children, just a step son and I have been his step mom since he was 2 years old. He is now 8 and I love that part of my life, but the dynamics of being a step parent are difficult. Always being judged, or the finger pointed at you, it is just the roll every step parent takes on regardless. It happens to the best of us. You see I allowed fear of other people bully me into holding back who I truly was. I dimmed my spark to avoid causing any conflicts in the "family" and tried to create a stable environment for everyone involved. The fact was I was breaking inside. I set who I was and what I wanted in my life to the side to avoid conflicts in the opinions of those who do not matter in my choices. The response I got was You'd think that becoming a medium in the public eye was devastating to an "image" of those who were also "pretending not to know". If only they realized they had full control of their own life and their own potential. It took a full blown negative response for me to realize that what I was fearing was a them problem not a me problem and I was making it a me problem because I worried about approval of what others thought or the gossip of what they said. I don't worry about that anymore, I am free within myself now because I know I am living my life just as I was meant and just as I intend to do. With or without the support of others I learned I could speak my truths.
This led me to the realization that I was pretending not to know I was unhealthy. Even though we ate a fairly heathy diet and our own garden veggies, I noticed myself and my family just did not feel good. The more I looked into it the more I realized that our diet was making us sick and caused a pile of health issues in us that we previously ignored, I didn't really understand the extent of the issue until my mom was here for a visit and she dug out her daily dose of pills and supplements. I almost fell over when she pointed out one of her prescription pills and said "I can't eat grapefruit anymore because I am on this pill".... When did we start replacing food with prescription drugs? Don't we eat to be healthy? Is that not the point of a healthy diet? Health?... And she proceeded to point out other pills she took to balance out the side effects of the initial pills. This idea started to bubble up to the surface of things and had me ask myself the question of "why am I feeling sick and what can I do about it without prescription drugs and how do I change things to prevent sickness in my future". I started researching and found some amazing information which had taken me from being a chronic migraine sufferer, (meaning a migraine a minimum 5 days a week) to having zero migraines in a 30 day period with change in diet and emotional stress. I learned how to help my step son gain control of his bedwetting form having 7 accidents (at our house) per week to having zero. Simply limiting gluten and dairy. Unfortunately, that has since been derailed as a result of various things, he has done a complete 360 back to having 7 accidents a week and complained about feeling sick almost daily. It is heart breaking seeing other people and doctors pretend not to know, or choose not to educate themselves of the unknown or the alternative. Instead, anger and rage begin getting projected when one tries to bring forward an alternate solution. I have since learned bedwetting is an autoimmune disorder caused from leaky gut and sensitivity to gluten, dairy and of course sugar and a lack of vitamin D which is not really a vitamin but a natural hormone.
So what Am I doing to make me and my family healthy emotionally, mentally and physically. I am educating us all with healthy choices. I have learned a lot about my health and have been bringing awareness to others as much as I can. I have learned that I have Autoimmune disorders. I have had them for a long time but no one in the medical field explained to me what it was. I suffered with migraines for more than half of my life and was offered artificial hormones and pain killers. I suffered vertigo and was offered no advice or solution from the medical field, I suffered from psoriasis and extremely painful rashes and was offered steroids by the medical field, I have had chronic fatigue, chest pains and swelling on the left side of my body for almost a year and the medical doctors told me it was from smoking even though I had quit. I began having extreme vertigo outbreaks, exhaustion, chronic pain and arthritis unable to sleep weeks at a time and just felt sick and often have a hard time moving or standing up, all the while eating very healthy. Until I really started to look into my conditions, I learned that what was outlined by the Canadian Food Guide was actually making me extremely sick. I learned that all the issues I had going on was because it was what's called an autoimmune disorder. I learned that this is cause by the immune system attacking healthy tissues. It is caused from a leaky gut. I learned that gluten is toxic to everyone and is most likely the instigator in this whole thing. I learned that gluten attaches itself to healthy tissues (in organs like the kidneys, heart or liver) and the immune system can't tell the difference. (yup I learned through specialists in AI, autoimmune that those healthy athletes that drop dead from a heart attack, you can blame that gluten for that)...
The more I learn and try to share, the more I see people "pretend not to know" this applies to them. I truly believe in 2 years we will all be autoimmune disorder sufferers and the food as we know it will be inedible. I was shocked to know that people did not know what GMO really was. GMO grains for example are created to withstand the use of chemicals in the crops, meaning the weeds and pests can be sprayed and the grain would not break down. Our bodies use chemical to break down our food. Unfortunately, GMO food is resistant and when it comes to health, it is making people chronically ill. I also learned that aluminum is an additive that is put in almost everything as a mixing agent. It is also used in vaccines which is what causes all these health issues, Like gluten, aluminum likes to attach itself to the organs where the immune system can not tell the difference between it and the healthy tissue. It is so toxic but so commonly used that it's is even used in baby formula and even is added to baking powder. Many people have toxic levels of aluminum in their body and would never even know what it is doing to them. We think that our food is regulated and we are safe under the "standards" but the truth is it is all about profits in the food industry, not health. A producer buys seed based on yield and profit, not your health. Food is altered for production and profits, not health. Same with the medical world. Profits are priority, no one really looks at health.
So now let me ask you. What are you pretending not to know?